Archive for April, 2011
Being able to communicate openly is the key to any happy and successful relationship. How open are you? Let’s face it, there are bumpy roads in all relationships but fighting fair is the best way to keep the lines of communication open and prevent a molehill from becoming a mountain.
1) Don’t speak without first taking a moment when you are upset. If you must wait a day or two until you have cooled down then so be it. You don’t want to wind up saying something that you will regret and can’t take back.
2) Don’t harbor resentment for unaddressed or unacknowledged past feelings. Figure out exactly what the argument is about. Is the problem that the ice cube tray didn’t get filled or is it that last week your partner came home late and you were left feeling hurt and worried?
3) Don’t use “YOU ALWAYS” or “YOU NEVER”. Always and never bare negative connotations and automatically put your partner on the defense because they come across as accusatory. Be sure to say “I feel” such and such. Quite frankly your partner doesn’t feel that way, you do.
4) Don’t waste time you and your partner have together. There are things worth arguing about and things you should just let go. Save arguments for the things that are most important to you so issues of importance will hold more weight.
5) Don’t hold your partner accountable for the things your last partner did to you. This is not your previous partner.
6) Don’t fight if you or your partner has had a couple of cocktails. This is a sure way to have a full knock out fight instead of being able to rationally negotiate.
7) Don’t make idol threats. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Should you blurt out “If you do it again I’m leaving you”, then you better be ready to pack otherwise when you speak your words will have NO value.
Don’t fight or argue in public, it’s not cool. Your friends and or family will become uncomfortable, stuck in the middle or worse yet not want to spend time with either of you.
9) Don’t be rude and disrespectful to your partner. If the two of you are best friends then treat each other as such.
10) Don’t assume you know what your partner is thinking. You are not a mind reader. If there is something truly bothering you speak up and be honest, your partner can’t read your mind either.
11) Don’t name call. This is not only childish it is completely unacceptable.
12) Don’t treat your partner in any manner that you yourself would not want to be treated. Hold yourself to the same standard of behavior you are expecting from your partner. Good for the goose is good for the gander.
13) Don’t’ be afraid to be the first one to apologize. Saying you’re sorry for hurting someone is not a sign of weakness it is actually a sign of strength because you were unafraid to go first.
Bonus rule: Don’t be afraid to laugh laughter is the best medicine even if you are laughing at yourself.
I hope you found this Nannette Bosh Inc. post inspiring.
P.S. Thank you for taking the time to read 13 Rules for Fighting Fair.
I would like to thank you for joining me and I hope you find these blog posts as well as this website, useful, inspiring and energizing. I’m happy to finally connect with you and I look forward to being of service to you in any way that I can. I know this is not common practice but I would like to dedicate this website to all of my many supportive friends, family members and those that helped create it for without all of you this very moment would not be possible. I would also like to dedicate this blog to my dear friend Mary who past away recently. Mary’s food blog will never become a reality so this is for her. Now here is to you, your life, your business and your success!!!!